How do you deal with having your youth despised? ‘Let no man despise thy youth.’ Suppose you are a teenager, and you are a Christian in your early 20s, and in the circles you mix in you feel so young, and you are not respected, and you are looked down upon. What is the antidote? What does the apostle mean when he says, ‘Let no man despise thy youth?’ Is he saying grow a beard? Is he saying adopt some form of dress or posture that makes you feel older and look older? No, he's not talking about that: mere deportment or appearances. The Greek means ‘look down on you for being young’. Supposing then you are a teenager and your parents are still treating you as a younger child, and it's irksome. Parents haven't quite adapted yet to the fact that you are 18 or 19. What are you going to do about that as a Christian? The advice follows. As far as Timothy, the young pastor, is concerned, ‘Be thou an example’ – a stamp or a die, says the Greek. Example is perfect. Be an example, a pattern ‘in word, in conversation, in [love], in spirit, in faith, in purity. If, as a young pastor, you can be careful to seek and to pray for these graces and to advance in them, those old heads will respect you. They will stop noticing your youthful demeanour and your years, because they appreciate, even admire, your words, your speech, your behaviour, your love, your spirit, your faith, your purity. The same is true for the Christian teenager. If the Lord gives you progress in this list, then your parents will really appreciate you. They will really understand that you are a child of God, and there's a maturity about you, and you have strengths and graces, and they'll find that very valuable, very precious. They will wonder at it and what has changed you and what has happened. So the antidote is how we live.
‘In word’ – obviously, be careful of the negatives. No lies, no foolish talking, no boasting, no drawing attention to yourself, no endless speaking about yourself, or what you want. Sensible words, honest words, helpful words, keeping your temper, having self-control. ‘Lord, bless my words today. Bless my speech today. Forgive me for every wrong word and foolish thing, uttered and hurtful word and stretching the truth in excuses. Oh Lord, may I be seen as reliable with integrity, with good words and helpful words and comforting words and encouraging words.’ That's the way to be respected. Genuineness, no gossip.
‘In conversation’, which translates a Greek word which roughly means behaviour. ‘Coming and going’ is the root of the word. In your coming and going, in your toing and froing, in other words, in your interactions and your behaviour before other people. The word ‘conversation’ used to refer to your actions as well as your words. It's lost the actions bit in modern speech, and tends to refer only to words. But for the King James translators, it was a good word for this: how you relate to other people. Do you snap? Do you react badly under provocation? Do you say the first thing that comes into your head? Are you helpful? I've heard this many times: that a young person professes the Lord, is converted to Christ. Is it just emotion, you wonder? Is it passing? Is it real? And then the mum says, ‘He has changed. He is so helpful.’ His behaviour, her behaviour, towards the family has changed. Reaction and interaction and behaviour is different. Now it's kindly; it's outgoing; it's noticing others and thinking of them.
‘In charity’, in love. Does the person obviously love the Lord? Does the person love the house of God, and the word of God, and the people of God. Do they come to the Bible Studies? Does the person have a sensitivity and understanding? Is there love? That is always appreciated – if you have a young pastor or you have a teenage offspring, and there's love in their heart that goes outside themselves. I heard somebody say once, ‘You can't “out-selfish” a child’, and that's a bit true, sadly. Some children are very outgoing, but most children are at the centre of their world. Have you grown out of that as a teenager? Has the grace of God affected you, so that there's an outgoing love and regard and concern and interest in others, and parents, and colleagues? ‘In love’ – it's always appreciated, always noticed. If there is outgoing love in you, it preaches. People know that you have a hold upon the Lord.
‘In spirit’ – you have spiritual priorities, spiritual concerns. You are heard to say, ‘Let's pray about this. Let's seek the Lord. Let's open the word. Let's look at this spiritually.’ You have a spiritual heart and mind when you choose what you are doing, how you are going to live, what is worthwhile. You ask, ‘What will help spiritually? What will enable me to serve the Lord.’ Do you see that in someone? That's a powerful witness.
‘In faith’, trusting the Lord, trusting in his power. When we find ourselves wallowing in self-pity, or moping or complaining even inwardly, do we change our thoughts and pray and trust him, and seek to see the purpose that may be behind the trial? Do we turn it to account in faith, always leaning upon him?
‘In purity.’ Faithful, pure, morally pure, not seen as an excuse-maker, a bender of the truth, pure in every sense.