Ephesians 4:32 Commentary and Bible Study

But what is commanded here is something primarily between Christians. What a difference kindness makes. It is like the warmth of the sun that causes the flowers to open, and it has power to open another’s heart in a way that commands and threats will never do. Kindness is needed especially in a harsh environment. We may not lean too much on one another, but some of the Lord’s ministering to us comes through fellow believers. Some need more kindness than others. Those of tender heart who are emotionally fragile feel much more the pain of being dealt with harshly. We must we aware of the differences between each other. Some of us are selfish and desire kindness to be shown to us, but fail badly to show it to others. Kindness should be the hallmark of all our interaction with one another, both pastoral and among the congregation. Tenderhearted – many in the world would be ashamed to be described in this way. They cultivate toughness and hardness and see tenderheartedness as weakness. ‘Why should one person be affected by the feelings of another so much?’ they think. ‘Surely we each need to be self-sufficient so that nothing can hurt us?’ But the tenderhearted have made themselves vulnerable to the feelings of others. The man of God is not afraid to show his feelings or to sympathise with others. Paul assumes there will be offences between believers for he knows that we offend each other in many matters. Such offences have the potential to damage the spirit of love that should exist among believers, and we must make strenuous efforts to deal with them. We are to forgive real offences, in which we unmistakably detect ill will against us in the hearts of others. He does not give us detailed instruction on how to handle offences, for the Scripture teaches this elsewhere. We are to go first and speak face to face with those who have offended us. We are to try to bring them to repentance, by dealing faithfully and yet gently with their fault and endeavour to get them to see its potential for harm. We are to be patient, even forgiving the same fault many times. All the time we are to remember how much God has forgiven us, far more than we will ever be required to forgive others. Some faults are so minor that we should pass over them altogether and not insist on a formal apology. God is our example in how to forgive. Gentleness is far better at evoking true repentance than forcefulness.