What is Christ's love of the church? Well, it is a planned love. In his love he planned to come into this world of time, and suffer and die for his redeemed people, the Church. He planned to redeem us, and in the course of time, by his Spirit, to work in our hearts and draw us to himself. There was an objective to his love, an objective for our benefit, amazingly. A husband has his wife in mind. His love is intelligent, it is planned. He thinks of her and he says, ‘Our objective together is to reach this goal; with the raising of the family, with the witness in the church, with forming a unit for the service for the Lord.’ He aims to potentiate his wife's gifts so that she can exercise them. He doesn't only have biological love for her. Then what happens? Does he get married and that is that and then he takes her for granted? No, his love has her in mind, long into the future – where we are going together, and what we are going to accomplish for the Lord in our family unit. So, it is a love like Christ's, and we should bear that in mind. Husbands are going to be held responsible for this.
It is also a love that is expressed. Christ expressed his love for the church, and he continues to express it, as he pours down blessing upon us and warms our hearts, as we worship and hear his word, and through his answers to our prayers. Husbands too must express their love and not just allow it to be taken as read or assumed. It was said once by a preacher long ago, that the gospel and the biblical rules for marriage lighten the curse after the Fall of man. The wife was then subjected to her husband and her desire was unto him, but now, look: here is the Lord lightening the burden of the woman, and saying to the husband, ‘Care for her, as I care for all my people, and think about that and bear her in mind, and lift her up and keep her secure.’ Husbands are to give themselves for their wives, lay themselves down for her.
The husband has to take responsibility for moving the marriage along to the next phase. It is a big responsibility. As married people, we are not as free in some respects; marriage does cost something. You cannot go through it without these considerations. Some wives do not want a husband but they want a home. Some men do not want wives but they just want a servant. The woman’s tenderness may run away and spoil the child; this may need checking.