I believe that the apostle is saying that the union of a man and a woman has similar mysterious aspects – this notion of one flesh. Yes, there is an order; the husband is the head. The wife places herself willingly under him, even if she is more gifted and intelligent. We understand that, but still they are complementary, there is a union, there is tremendous oneness, there is love and affection which grows as the years go by; and there is a great deal of mystery in this. It could not be understood by the pagans of Paul's day; it could not be understood by many of the Jewish people either. Today, in this age of humanistic feminism and so on, people don't understand the biblical view of marriage. It seems extraordinary to them. It is a mystery.
And it is even a mystery to those of us who believe in it; because this is astonishing – that a man and a woman can be one flesh, and know deep agreement, and have tremendous affection for each other that overcomes all impediments and all difficulties. Will it work? We spend our lifetime proving it; proving the value of loyalty; proving the value of consent; proving and observing that two together can achieve far more than the two of us could have achieved apart. I do not want to depress or sadden people who are unmarried, because the Lord has special grace for those who are not married; and they can know wonderful fulfilment, and achievement in spiritual things. But nevertheless, marriage does so much. We belong to each other, we possess each other. It is a progressive union – every decade of life that passes will reveal greater depths, and discover greater treasures. It is a mystery how it could be so successful, and so wonderful in the Lord. So, Christ is the mystery; but then, equally there is much for us to discover in this mystery of marriage. It is against anything that men would devise – its complementary genius, its permanence, its security, its potentiating power; potentiating two people in character and for service; its ennobling of women and of men.
Another view of this mystery is the fact that marriage between a man and his wife on earth is actually a divine picture of the relationship between Christ and his church. How is it that Paul can teach us about marriage on earth by pointing us to the relationship between Christ and his church? How can he identify the wife’s and the husband’s duties to each other so clearly in terms of the church’s submission to Christ and the Saviour sacrificially giving himself for his bride, the church? It is because God intended that the earthly institution of marriage which is for a time should teach us about the eternal marriage of the heavenly Bridegroom, Christ, and his bride, the church. When he says ‘I speak concerning Christ and the church’, it is evident that he has actually been speaking about the husband and wife on earth being one flesh. The words ‘I speak’ do not just point back to the statement ‘This is a great mystery’, as if he had suddenly changed the subject, back to what goes before: in the words quoted from Genesis 2:24: ‘Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.‘ What is a mystery is that God has designed this very human relationship to be an image of the relationship which is at the heart of God’s purpose in creating the world.