It will seem odd to find in the case of Isaac and Rebekah a lesson on taking our time, because the arrangements seem to be made so suddenly, and without Isaac’s personal involvement. This was certainly a unique case of very direct divine superintendence, and yet there are indications of extreme carefulness, and concern not to make a mistake on the part of Abraham’s servant. From this we derive a clear lesson on caution. We read in the inspired account – ‘the man wondering at her held his peace.’ The requested sign had been so perfectly provided that it almost worried him. Caution ruled his tongue, and he watched, waiting longer before asking Rebekah who she was. Was this really the woman appointed by the Lord for his master Isaac?
It is vital in the early stages of meeting and courtship that we too know how to hold our peace. How can we pray for guidance, and be serious about God’s will being carried out, and immediately rush into a lifelong commitment? It certainly ought not to be possible for two believers to meet, propose and accept in a few days. We acknowledge that God is gracious, and the greatest foolishness can be overruled by his power. Lightning marriages which bring together ill-matched believers, can still be wonderfully sanctified, hallowed and blessed by the Lord, because nothing is too hard for him, but our duty is to pause and pray.
How long does it take to be certain that the Lord has given us a firm tie, and that we are right for each other? How long before there is comfortable certainty within, and circumstantial guidance from without? How much time do we need in order to really know the best (and perhaps also the worst) of each other, be sure that we can zealously serve the Lord together, and also love and shape one another in the long years ahead? A general answer would be – the younger we are, the more time we need. For the more mature, a sensible minimum time for courtship before the arrangement of a marriage might be six months. For younger people it might be a year, but longer is better.
It is worth noting that couples are not always ready for marriage because they are not able to set up a place to live, or may have no settled regular source of income. If people are determined to marry regardless of their circumstances, one wonders how they recognise or read the guidance of God. If they ignore every obstruction, how will they ever know if the Lord is opening or closing doors?