It is good to look back and think about all the changes that have taken place in our lives over the years. What happened was not what we might have expected or what we would necessarily have wanted, but we can trace the Lord’s hand in our life. He has not forsaken us. He has helped us through many trials over the years. He has answered our prayers and kept us from falling. He still has future plans for us and we should trust him for the future.
Whether you are seeking the Lord for the first time, or you are an experienced Christian, if you have no assurance, it could be because you give no proper thanks to God. The seeker says, ‘I have repented many times, but I feel nothing.’ That could be for a number of reasons. It could be due to incomplete repentance but equally, it could be a failure to thank God for things he has actually done for you already. Even as a seeker you can do that. You are still outside the kingdom, but of course you have already received much from the Lord. Wasn’t there a time when you wanted to get far away from church, from the gospel, from God? Now you want to get in. ‘I didn’t deserve this softening of my heart’, you may say. Even if you don’t think you have had the greatest blessing, you can remember that once you were against the message; now you desire it.
Equally it may be that you are not resting on the promise, that he will never turn you away. When cast down, poor William Cowper, the hymn writer, couldn’t rest on the promises – he was suffering from severe melancholy. His theology was grand. John Newton, his friend, said, ‘Don’t you believe that the promise is for all?’ ‘Yes,’ he answered, ‘for everyone, except me.’ He could believe at some periods in his life, but not at others.
His mercies humble me today, but how can I pray so they always do? Do it is Jacob did. I am not worthy to have the Messiah’s line when I cheated my way into it. I am not worthy to have God extend his patience towards me, after all I have been and done.
‘I am not worthy of the least of thy mercies.’ He prayed as an unworthy person and so must we. Do you come to God in that way? ‘I am under the wrath of God. I am not worthy of the least of his mercies. I could never earn them. I have misused my life.’ Some people come to the pastor and try to tell him their faults. Pastors do not like hearing confessions; they are not priests. Almost as soon as they mention their sins, they excuse themselves. When you say, ‘I am unworthy’, don’t add, ‘but I wouldn’t have done it except for this or that.’ All we can do is ask for a free pardon, without making defence for our sins to God.