By causing us to struggle, God reveals our own hearts to us more fully. We say, I want to become a Christian, but then we think about what we stand to lose. What will my friends say? I don’t want to have to face their disapproval or their scorn. I can see that if I became serious about following Christ, they may begin to despise me, and speak behind my back – those people who used to be close to me. That might be too much for me to bear. Then again, the gospel calls for an immediate response. I cannot keep putting this off. If it is really best to follow Christ, then why should I live another day as an unbeliever? What will be gained? Actually, by doing so I risk losing the light that God has given me so far. And do I really want to be radically changed? Perhaps I will not be able to keep up the new life as a disciple of Christ. I will start to follow and be exposed as someone who has not fully counted the cost. I am comfortable with what I am now. So the seeker prays and the Spirit puts fresh urgency into our search for God, and we say, actually, I desire salvation so much that I am ready to lose all for Christ.
Perhaps someone here has tried to pray and your prayer is not feelingful enough. When you pray, you tell us, nothing happens – God resists you. You have got to go on desiring the Lord and praying to him until he blesses you. As you approach God he may have to show you what you have never seen before about your sin – you feel great shame: we have all been through it. Some say, ‘Those preachers: they treat us like worms and they say all manner of evil to us. But no. Seek the Lord; don’t think a little prayer will do it. We need to seek him for all we are worth. Don’t leave off prayer. When you get up in the morning be prepared to venture out into the new life. If you have truly repented and are sure begin to live for him. You may not be certain yet that he has heard you, but be prepared to leave sin and live for him. Ask him to manifest himself to you. He will be known to you.