That sense of unworthiness was part of his faith. Real faith then is one-part a great sense of need, and in particular you must feel your need of forgiveness, and your need of new life and conversion. You must realize you need spiritual life. Another part of real faith is that you realize your unworthiness before God. You may not have been used to hearing faith defined in this way but this is real believing faith. Supposing I decide tonight – having never loved God, never served him, and only lived for myself – that I am going to become a Christian. I am going to bounce into the presence of God and tell him what a great fellow I am, and that he is most fortunate that of all the people in this city he should have me volunteering for his service. I am going to say, ‘Here I am Lord, take me.’ That would involve no faith, none at all, because true faith understands who God is: that he is the altogether Holy One. If you understand that he is the altogether Holy One, God on high, you automatically at the same time feel how unholy and sinful and dark you are. So if you've got true faith you must feel your unworthiness, you must feel that you are not worthy to approach him in your own strength, in your own righteousness.
It is that unworthiness that will bring us to appreciate God, how God saves the soul because God can only save the soul in one way. God can only save the soul and pardon and forgive sin because Christ came into this world. Christ the Son of God and took the punishment due to those who seek his forgiveness, took their punishment himself on the cross of Calvary.
There was somebody said to me a few years ago that she was determined in the water shortage that she would never go out to the standpipe. For some reason she thought that this would be beneath her; she would never go out to the standpipe in the street and get water the emergency supply and she filled apparently every spare room she had with buckets and receptacles of water and she thought she would get through, but the drought was too long and eventually she used everything up that she could and ran out, and with nothing in the house she had to go to the standpipe. Necessity drove her there; she had to go. This is what happens to us. I understand that I need forgiveness, I need spiritual life, I need conversion, and that joins with my sense of unworthiness realization that I am a sinner. We know that there is no other way, we go to Christ who suffered and died in the place of all those who approach him, who took their sin in their place. Faith must have this great sense of need and this great sense of unworthiness or you will never go to Christ.
This high-ranking officer came to realize his unworthiness and it might well have been hard for him, because he was very popular, and popular people don't usually see their unworthiness very easily. Also you would think he would be proud of his command and all his attainments. Are you proud of your attainments, or very pleased with your appearance, or your academic career, your money, your success in business? You will never come to know Christ until you put all those things aside and you look deep within yourself, and realize that, in spite of all this, the essential you is a weak, fallen, selfish, deceitful person, and you desperately need his forgiveness and his rebuilding power. All our pride – ‘I'm a good person. I haven't done too much wrong. I'm not as bad as other people. I can remember all the good things I've done. I can't generally remember all the bad things I've done’ – is silenced. That kind of attitude never comes anywhere near to God. Instead we say: ‘I am not fit. I am so sinful. I am so earthbound, so materialistic, so selfish.’ That's the attitude which gets the help of Almighty God, that comes into his presence.