Never, never dream of or think of separation, unless you should be in that cruel, awful situation of having to deal with the problem of adultery or desertion, utter unfaithfulness. It should never cross your mind. The most foolish thing you can do in circumstances where fallen, human nature expresses itself and there is strong disagreement or upset or unhappiness, is to even think of separation or divorce or not being with each other. It is not only wicked, but it is utterly foolish, because as you entertain the thought, so you will think less and less about of God’s commandment. Instead, we immediately pray, subduing foolish tempers and working to draw together once again; that is vital.
The implication of these words is this: two sexes, men and women made in many respects the same, and in many respects so differently, are designed and fashioned for marriage. That is the idea. ‘For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother’, with this in view. The difference between the sexes is a design of God for a purpose: for marriage, for this priceless, unique, and special union. They complement each other and fit together perfectly. Men and women, equally significant in the sight of God, equally though often differently gifted, equally valuable, and yet made different so that they are suited perfectly to each other in marriage.
Now we know that there are men and women who remain unmarried, which is also in the word of God a very noble and significant state to be in. They are in his will, and it is his purpose for them. To say that men and women are also fashioned for marriage is not to diminish the single state at all. They may have many regrets but, nevertheless, God mightily blesses in whatever state he calls us to live. But the majority of people will be married and that is what sexual differentiation is designed for, not merely in terms of biology and sexual organs, but our very temperaments, the very way in which all the differences between men and women are made, essentially and primarily, to work together wonderfully in marriage.
There is a new unit, a new family. Of course we are to honour our parents, but no longer is the father the head of the new family. He surrenders his headship. Sometimes in some cultures – it used to be so a hundred years ago in English culture, but it slipped away – it is the case that if you have children, and your son or daughter marry, you still have a hold as a parent, an authority, and they should listen to you, and you can interfere with their married lives, and direct them and insist on this and on that. No, says the Lord, a man shall leave his father and his mother. He continues to honour them, but no longer is he bound to do everything that their wisdom suggests or dictates. He and his wife are a new unit before God, and responsible to God, and the old authorities are broken.