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Bible Notes - Tabernacle Commentaries
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Matthew 1:19
Comments
Here we see a portrait of a godly man acting without all the facts but in a manner that is free from bitterness or revenge. Joseph must have been extremely saddened that the woman he loved and trusted, and whose character he thought he knew had behaved so wickedly, as he thought. What in this world is more precious to a prospective husband than the heart of his future spouse? He rejoices that he has a soulmate provided by God in whom in the secret place there is loyalty, righteousness, truth, and where he believes there are boundaries set which will never be crossed. She loves him as he loves her, and she is reserved for him alone as long as life endures. What is more troubling than to find that he has misjudged her and invented a heart, a character, that is not there?But in his grief and disappointment Joseph was still determined to honour her as much as the situation would allow. Though he had suffered the shattering of her image by what seemed like incontrovertible facts, he was not going to deliberately hurt her out of malice or revenge. He was surely confused at his ability to so misread her, but he did not want to make a public example of her and to publicly disgrace her as a way of causing her pain, equivalent to that which he had suffered. Instead he was inclined to cover over her sin, not for his own sake to save him the shame of being associated with a loose woman, but out of residual love towards her. He was a just man. The marriage could no longer go ahead – he was clear about that – and she must bear the consequences of what she had done, but he had no wish to publicly shame her and humiliate her. Many others would not have behaved in this restrained way, but would have felt entitled to cause as much suffering as they could, but Joseph’s love for Mary had been genuine and it would not so quickly turn to vitriol. Pride would have seen this as a personal insult, but love saw it as a tragic loss for her and for him. Betrayal is hard to bear, especially when love has extended so much trust.
Application
When we are grievously wronged we need to watch ourselves very carefully. Even in such a situation we are not released from the obligation to act meekly, calmly, without malice or revenge. God will take revenge on our behalf, and in in a way that is far more just and balanced than we can manage. Past loyalties should not quickly die, even when we have been betrayed by those we love. If love turns instantly into strong hatred, we have to question whether there was truly love there in the first place, or whether in fact we loved ourselves in a mirror.
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