Christ’s own willingness to forgive is our pattern. His forgiveness is the grounds for us to abandon all despair, but never to take advantage. We do not say, ‘I will never sin that sin again’, for Scripture warns us that we are not free from sin until we put off the flesh at the end of life. But we do not plan to sin; we do not make it easy for ourselves to sin; we do not sin on the assumption that we will be forgiven the sin. To do that is to come close to the one who says, ‘Let us continue in sin, that grace may abound.’ But after we have striven with all our strength to deny our ungodly lusts, and yet we have still fallen, we come to Christ to take full advantage of his forgiveness, for without it we could not come to heaven. And he pardons us daily, and is determined to sanctify us and put sin to death within us. His repeated forgiveness is our model of how we deal with each other. He knows that he cannot set a limit on how many times he pardons us, for he understands our present condition: that we have two natures, which are at war with each other.
But always the debt we have been forgiven is greater than anything we are asked to forgive. This calculation should come often to our minds. How would I want myself to be dealt with if I was the one who had offended? How much patience would I extend to myself if I repeated the same sin again and again? That puts us on the side of the offender and causes us to consider his eternal interests. It is not an easy matter to bring a sinner to heaven, and it cannot be done without more patience than we are capable of, for the number of sins that Christ must forgive in us, is far greater than anything we have to forgive in a fellow believer.
The cost of forgiving to the one offering forgiveness. Peter was aware of this and therefore wanted to set a limit on it. The cost is the exercise of grace. It is a cost that God expects us to pay freely without measuring it. Grace must set aside our rights, our hurts, and our wounds, and expect to receive no recompense for suffering them. Mercy must rejoice against or triumph over judgment also in our hearts.
Christ give the remedy here to enable us to overcome the difficulty of forgiving. How to remove that difficulty. We remove the difficulty by seeing that we gain more than we lose. We gain our brother or our sister, for we win then back from a path which would lead them into great harm. God alone knows what the end of that would be. We are then companions together in Christ’s kingdom. We have already gained freely from Christ more than we could ever give to the other. Not that this is a transaction – one forgiveness in payment for another forgiveness. Grace has been given to us freely, and the grace of God always comes first, always takes the initiative. ‘We love him because he first loved us’ (1 John 4:19). He forgives us before we have done anything.
How do I avoid holding grudges towards repeat offenders? I align myself fully with the purpose of my Lord and Saviour. He is bringing many sons (and daughters) to glory (Hebrews 2:10). He has laid down his life for them, showing how valuable they are to him. How can I despise what he counts worthy of his shed blood? We are all being changed together. We will not be what we are now when we are in heaven and sanctification will be complete.
Again, this is about forgivable sins, personal sins, not sins that warrant church discipline. There are some things which go beyond what is personal and must be dealt with through church discipline. Paul gives a list of such things in 1 Corinthians 5:9-11.