The gospel shows us our need and that God must forgive, but we must be sincere. Was his repentance sincere? It doesn’t look like it. It was repentance purely out of self-interest and shame and humiliation. There was no personal sorrow for what he had done. He was concerned for his honour. Be careful in case your repentance is as worthless as that. ‘I will become a Christian’, you say. But you are not going to give him your life. You are not going to learn from him. All you want is his help. You have an exam coming up, or you face sickness. You want help – you don’t really want God. So you repent in a false way. True repentance must be for the right motives. ‘I am a sinner. I have sinned my life away. I desire a new life, cleansing from all sin. I will serve thee. Lord, forgive me.’ You want the Lord and you know you are a sinner. Is our repentance shallow or real?
If repentance lacks any true signs that you mean it, it is not real repentance. David wouldn’t kill Saul at Engedi (1 Samuel 24). Saul repented of his conduct towards David with tears and gave assurances, but it was a squall of emotion. He didn’t mean it; he didn’t keep his assurances. He meant it, but not very deeply. We have known people who repent in terror, but they are not really ashamed of sin, or sorry for what they have done. They don’t want to turn to Christ and follow him all the remainder of their days. If I don’t feel deep shame, I won’t appreciate what has happened.
Some come and say, ‘I don’t feel enough.’ Yes, but if you are genuine and your repentance is accompanied by works that are appropriate for repentance, and you believe the gospel in your heart, then you should take courage. But others feel it on Sunday feel it, but on Monday they have forgotten their concerns. So it is encouraging when people say, ‘I can’t feel enough’, week after week. This man’s pleading with his master didn’t make him kinder or feel more for the other servant. If you are a real seeker, you ask for pardon and it makes a difference. Sometimes friends – it is so sad – seem to change, but in weeks they are right back where they were in the world, doing the things that shock. To adapt an old expression, the road to hell is littered with false repentance. You must repent because you are under wrath, because you want to be clean, you want his love, you want to be eternally saved. You must mean these things. This servant showed he was shallow. Our God is ready to forgive, but debt is not cancelled until God sees you really mean it.