Proverbs 12:18 Commentary - Dr Peter Masters

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Proverbs 12:18

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Then there is the rapier tongue; that is fairly obvious: pain and bleeding and hostility. You can see it in the context of the farm that Solomon began this whole passage with. Here is one of the growing sons and he has been lazy and he has not followed instructions, and the father is pretty mad about it. Why? Because he has lost money. He has lost crops and that area of the farm and its operation has been wasted. What is the father going to do about it? What is the quality of his correction or his instruction? Is he just going to come down like a ton of bricks upon the fellow? What is really going on here is that the father is meting out vengeance; he is working out his own failure to control his anger at losing something, whereas it would have been much more productive to tell the son off in a more rational way. The way that we speak also matters. There are those who go about instructing or correcting others in a manner that is guaranteed to do more harm than good. Perhaps they have seen a genuine fault in another and they have set about putting it right, but the way they do it will achieve nothing but aggravation, and may cause others to be so wary of them that they will never approach them for help in the future. The trouble with the rapier tongue is that it is more concerned with itself than with the other. It does not know how to be gentle but thinks that results are best achieved by force. It takes no account of the dignity of the other or of any difficulty they may have in responding. It expects immediate compliance and expresses itself in the harshest way, not considering that the over forceful way it expresses itself is bound to stir up resentment. It does not care about resentment or about providing real help to the other. Just as long as it has administered the necessary correction, then it has done its job. Of course, the sword-like tongue may intend to do no good at all, but only to express cruelty, hatred, and deceit, and to cause pain.

Application

The tongue of the wise is gentle by comparison. It aims at the healing of the other, and knows that this cannot be achieved by violent words or criticism alone. Christ, when he was on earth, had reason to say many harsh things to people, but moderated his words to make them more acceptable, more effective. Those we try to help must sense that we are kindly disposed towards them. The tongue of the righteous must be able to comfort, encourage, protect, nurture, and coax those it tries to help, and not to do so in an overbearing way (Lawson). Lawson also comments that the wise tongue must know when to speak.

Sword-like words are very habit-forming. You spend two or three weeks letting your self-control just switch off, just stabbing out and lashing out at people, and it is remarkably habit-forming. With particular people you begin to speak rather nastily, unpleasantly towards someone, that habit almost fixes itself upon your relationships with that person. The world has no means of off-loading its tensions and emotions except by hitting back and seeking vengeance. The great mark of Christian character should be health-giving, always thinking of the objective, always stewarding words to a good outcome - with children, with people around us.

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Proverbs 12:18 Commentary and Bible Study