Proverbs 17:13 Commentary and Bible Study

As a general principle this proverb applies to all men and women, but for believers it must be moderated to allow for repentance and restoration. There is a state of mind which is very damaging to the individual in which a negativity gets hold of the heart and refuses to do the right thing. It may be driven by pride, anger, hatred, malice, or self-pity which blames everyone else around. It finds a way of resenting even good acts because it is determined to see something blameworthy in everything others do. Every overture that is shown is rejected in a hostile way as if it was an act of aggression. The individual is hard at work to suppress conscience and justify his evil ungrateful behaviour even though this is a thoroughly uphill task. This leaves the conscience feeling worse, for it cannot for long be deceived in this way, and this increases resentment on the part of the evil responder. Why is this response such a heinous evil? Because there is so little excuse for it. The believer is called to love his enemies and do good to them that hate him, but this one does not even manage to return good to those who have done good to him first. He behaves like a brute beast and turns on the one trying to help him and tears the hand that feeds him. He fails to recognize the kindness done to him and even rejects it because he knows it puts him in the debt of the other. He is determined not to recognize such a debt, as his pride will not let him acknowledge that it exists. He may even hate the ‘do-gooder’ as he sees him, because he recognises that he has a righteous character that is out of his reach. Like Cain he knows that the believer is accepted by God but that he is not, and this knowledge fuels his hatred. He is well aware that good has been done to him but in his meanness of spirit he is unwilling to admit that this is so, for he will give no credit to the other. For the unconverted, this behaviour will lead to everlasting judgment unless the grace of God intervenes in his life.For the believer and in the context of relationships which is Solomon’s current topic, the verse must be applied in another way. If a believer responds to friendly overtures with churlishness he will never make meaningful relationships; he will never have deep friendships. If someone is trying to be friendly but you return their behaviour with coldness or even rudeness, the Lord will note this. Some are lazy and will not respond; they are not necessarily evil in their response but they are lazy. This person will know a serious lack of deep friendship. You may be a person who puts no value on friendship. You feel independent but you will know heartache even if you don’t realise that this is due to lack of friendships. These friendships won’t come automatically: they must be sown. Some do not seem to be able to do it because they are selfish. They can only worry about themselves.Others are immature – there is an aspect of immaturity whereby people do not appreciate friendships. For instance, at school you had friends, but when you leave you may be cut off from them and it does not cut very deep to leave them. There is something tender about youth, but there is also something hard about it. This is a sort of protection. One group goes and another takes its place. Some never grow and never realise it. They steel themselves to have shallow and slight relationships. When people try to get to know them better they do not realise it. Remember that the Lord sends much of the blessing that he has for us through our friendships. Some are continually trying to help such grumblers and make a great effort to thaw them out. Eventually they recognise they are beyond the help even of friendship – the real problem is usually that there is no grace in that person.