Proverbs 17:14 Commentary and Bible Study

The harm caused to relationships by quarrelsomeness is so great that each one within the household of God must make the utmost effort to prevent it. The strategy Solomon recommends to achieve this is to consider carefully the great evil that follows and the difficulty of stopping it once it has been allowed to proceed to a certain point. It is like a dam that bursts, which in the first place can be stopped by simply building up the walls where the water is threatening to run over but which if allowed to go on gets rapidly worse and worse and becomes out of control so that no one is able to stop it. All quarrelling has a tendency to escalate and to become much worse than it is, for it is human nature to take revenge for every perceived wrong by returning more evil in return than has been received. Each one foolishly thinks that he will have the final word and put an end to the quarrel but the reality is that it becomes something worse, for the hatred between the two protagonists grows. What started with a small matter which could have been overlooked of forgiven or dealt with gently has become something which is going to be much harder to heal and possibly will never be resolved. The emotions get hold of the person and he is unable to stop. The time to deal with the problem is therefore early and the motivation to make peace will be the awareness of what lies ahead if action is not taken.Some justify this behaviour by saying, ‘I am a great believer in getting things out in the open and getting rid of them. I like to argue things out.’ Yes, this may be necessary when there is a serious matter of principle involved, but so often strife starts with a trivial matter which should just have been overlooked in the interest of peace. Do not therefore think that every shadow crossing the face has to be explored. You don’t say, ‘Let all the water out of the dam and then it will be safe.’ Water is good. What comes out in strife is really something that would be good if left in the dam. This is emotional energy. There is no need for the Lord’s people to be in continual strife with each other. Much of the perceived problem is a myth and it should never have been allowed to start. There are two opposite ways of looking at the same problem and each side chooses the way which justifies them and condemns the other. Do I find myself seeing the worst in what others do and stirring myself up to become irritable? I am simply wasting emotional energy to follow a myth.