Proverbs 19:13 Commentary and Bible Study

Now follow two proverbs on the family which compare the sorrows that may afflict us with the joys which we can experience through it. They contrast the dysfunctional family with the family blessed by the Lord.The shape of a family will be to a great extent a consequence of the place God takes in the life of that family. It is his influence on the members of the family that determines whether it is harmonious, or a source of painful contention bringing sorrow to all. This is a major aspect of our fallen world and a great source of misery, for when those closest to us, with whom we interact most intimately, and who ought to be the greatest consolation to us in bearing with our fallen state and the state of the world around us; when they instead become the cause of the greatest sorrow and grief then we are hurt at the most sensitive point. Nevertheless, the proverb implies, we are often the authors of our own misery, for Solomon does not tell us these things because there is nothing we can do about it and we must lie down and let life flow over us. A foolish son will usually be a son who has not been trained up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, who has not been taught self-control, or how to respect those above him, or how to avoid the pitfalls of evil. He has no love for his parents perhaps because they have set him such a poor example, shown him no care or affection, made no sacrifices for him, and pursued instead their own pleasure at his expense. The foolish son is the ruin of the father because the father’s good name is brought into disrepute by the son, who is made in the image of the father and reveals the secret failings of the father for all to see. The foolish son takes the inheritance which is the product of a lifetime’s work from his father, and wastes it with riotous living, perhaps making the father wish that he had never had such a son.A contentious wife is one who was perhaps taken for her looks only, but without any serious assessment of her character. She loves finery, external beauty, earthly goods, but does not know how to obey her husband. She is a continual dripping because like the tap which keeps those in earshot hanging in suspense over the fall of the next drip, so she remains poised ready to utter the next tedious complaint, and the next unreasonable and unloving word of spite. The anticipation of this gives heightened sensitivity to the husband’s whole frame so that he dreads being in the same house as her. Above all this is an unbelieving family, probably having no worship, where the word of God is not central to all that takes place. It does not look to God for its standards of conduct, and does not seek his guidance about what paths to take through life.