Proverbs 19:18 Commentary and Bible Study

The parental duty of discipline is not to be avoided because of any reluctance to cause sorrow to the child. By allowing this to unduly influence his course of action, a father will actually cause far more pain to the child in the long term, and may even bring them to ultimate destruction. Discipline is necessary because every child comes into the world with a fallen heart, and the child needs to be restrained from their worst tendencies. Even if the child is not converted, parental discipline will make a great difference, but in many cases God will use the wise application of discipline as one influence in drawing that child to Christ for salvation. Discipline must begin early, because, as the proverb implies, there will come a time when it is hopeless to try to correct or redirect the child’s way of life. Like a tree that has not been trained early on, the branches have become so thick and unbending that they cannot any longer be led in a new direction. Habits of selfishness, cruelty, greediness, uncleanness, will have become so firmly established in the child, that they will not listen to any instruction or admonition, but will harden their hearts and continue in the way they wish to go. If the rod, metaphorical or literal, is used early in the life of the child then better habits will be taught, and when the child reaches adult life they will learn themselves to avoid dangers when there is no longer a father around to rebuke them. But the early discomfort of discipline cannot be avoided, and those who try to do so, are ignorant of what they are really dealing with. They refuse to accept God’s word when it tells them that the sorrow of correction is necessary because of the fallen nature which we inherit from Adam. To do otherwise is the equivalent to setting your heart on the destruction of the child. The inadequate father may not see it that way, but God’s word tells him that this is what he does in effect. The translation of the KJV varies at this point and interprets the Hebrew word meaning to die or to kill as ‘his crying’, but most other versions translate as ‘his death’ or ‘his destruction’. Speaking to the father, Solomon says, ‘Do not set your heart on his destruction.’ This of course is so far from what any kind father would want to do that the verse causes us to recoil, but the foolish softness or squeamishness of the father may result in far worse harm.The Lord also disciplines us for our good and does not spare the rod, and we should understand this and not resent it. We should submit ourselves to his discipline confident that it is because he loves us that he inflicts this on us. How much easier this makes it to bear chastisement when we know it comes from a superior wisdom that sees discipline is necessary for us. We can trust ourselves to that wisdom though it goes against our first desires because we wish to be changed by it. That wish to be changed is stronger than our reluctance to be thwarted in the object of our desires. Only the believer is ready to be corrected and changed like this, for the change that God works in us is not easy to bear but enters into the deepest recesses of our hearts. Only a loving heavenly Father will be allowed to work in such sensitive places.