Proverbs 23:13 Commentary and Bible Study

If we consider the passage carefully, that is actually an astonishing statement. We take it literally first of all – its direct and obvious sense. What has the child been doing which might bring him or her to death? Whatever is the child up to? Well, it could be that a child who is just on his feet decides that it is a good idea to pull boiling pans off a stove. Or it could be that a rather mischievous and adventurous youngster, through the foolishness which is bound up in the heart of a child, ventures outside and tries to hover over the edge of riverbank, or insists on clambering up the stairs onto the roof, where in no time he will totter to the edge and fall off, or maybe he starts playing with fire. This is something which could be fatal. It may very well be that a smart smack is the only way you can save a child’s life and make the child take that particular restriction or command seriously.The remarkable encouragement given to parents through this proverb is that so great an effect can come from such a relatively small measure. Correction delivered wisely, calmly, genuinely, lovingly, proportionately, to a child will not only keep them from evil in this life, but do what seems impossible for a mere parent: deliver their souls from eternal destruction.The warning given is that we should not withhold correction from the child. Why might any parent withhold it? Out of lack of concern perhaps. The parent may not realise the heavy responsibility given to them by God to train up their child and may neglect this duty and pursue their own interests in indifference to the child. It is inconvenient to trouble to think about the best way to respond to particular faults in the child. Or maybe out of a sense that they would be hypocritical to do so because their own behaviour has instead set the opposite example to the child. Their own sins inhibit their proper parental responsibilities from being carried out. Maybe they cannot face the resultant ill feeling that will come from the child towards them. They are not prepared to hold out against the child by insisting that the child is wrong and they are right. It is uncomfortable to disturb the equilibrium of the home, so it is easier to say nothing even this will do harm to the child. Maybe the parent’s love for the child is too indulgent, and this is probably what the proverb has in mind most of all in using the word ‘withhold’. The father or mother knows that the child deserves and needs correction but they are too concerned about the pain this will cause. They therefore fail to inflict the necessary short term punishment because they have forgotten the much greater long term benefit which will come from it. The Lord disciplines his people in this world with this in mind and as his children we are taught to expect unpleasant corrections and to console ourselves about these with the knowledge that we will reap a disproportionately large benefit in the future from them. Would we not do anything to deliver our children’s souls from hell? If beating our child with the rod is what accomplishes this, then it is not a great cost to pay.The mention of the rod and of beating does not imply that this is the only response we have to the child’s wrong behaviour. Our punishments must be proportionate, and intelligently thought out, and delivered in gradually ascending degrees of severity in the face of persist wrong doing. It must never be a mere lashing out or delivered with loss of temper, but it should be delivered with explanation, preceded by warning, and with compassion. Physical punishments may be delivered at times and this is the parents right as given by God, but there are many other punishments that may lead up to this such as the depriving of privileges.