Proverbs 31:11 Commentary and Bible Study

‘The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her’. Oh, what a joy this is! Trust is such an important element of marriage. How peaceful her husband’s heart can be when he knows his marriage is safe! Who can estimate the value of this? Jealousy is violent and disruptive and painful. The heart of man and wife should look to no one but each other, and should be able to dismiss suspicion easily as something worthless. He who understands God’s provision is satisfied with what he gives. For him pleasure does not come from greed but from the quality of his relationship. When his wife is not with him, he trusts her as much as when she is with him, and he has entrusted himself to her and will not betray her. Modern men and women know little of this. Since they are deceived into thinking that the pleasure to be derived from marriage is, on the whole, physical, they set little value on trust. Each one is out for what they can get for themselves, so that the idea of sacrificing for the other, of seeking the happiness and advance of the other is not in the picture. It is the mistaken attitude of sin to this world all over again, which believes the devil’s lie that there is more satisfaction and gain in fulfilling our lusts than in obeying God. But Christ says it is better to give in to receive, and this is especially true in the relationship of marriage. In this lies the secret of a happy marriage. The world says it values freedom and that it is bondage to have to serve another, but marriage is designed to teach us otherwise. Even in this fallen world, God has left some remnants of kindness and self-sacrifice, and he has left love in the world as a witness to what we once were before sin came in. Love is ready to put the other first and to go to extraordinary lengths to please the other, but sadly in the world it does not last long.But here is something different. This husband confides in his wife and she trusts in him and they do not abuse each other’s confidence. This is the beauty of their love. Their trust will not be disappointed. Trust is a very strong while it lasts and able to bear extreme pressure, but once it is lost it is very hard to rebuild. Our joy is to do nothing to damage trust. We have placed something precious in the hands of the other and their love for us is given the chance to keep that deposit safe. One does not trust more than the other; one does not hold back, but there is a perfect exchange of vulnerability. What need is there to put up defences where two are in love with each other. What a high view of marriage the Scripture gives us, but not so high that the believer cannot attain to it. No wonder marriage is a picture of our relationship with the Lord. It is a microcosm of this perfect relationship. The wife is not valued for outward appearance alone, but appreciated for what she does, for her qualities of soul. Inner beauty comes before outer beauty, though God in his goodness will give both.Clearly Solomon speaks of the believing wife, for no woman of the world could be described in this way. Because her husband’s heart is satisfied with her, he does not let his eyes wander elsewhere. Unfaithfulness breeds unfaithfulness. Where there is no trust there can be no rest, no ease of heart, but only watching one another with suspicion. This trust is the very thing that allows a husband to be satisfied with his wife. It is then the most essential part of the marriage. The Lord commands faithfulness and he enables it and we prove the kindness of his commandment.