‘The husband of one wife.’ The custom these days is to prefer to translate or explain the Greek in terms of ‘a one-woman-man’. That is a very fair reflection of the original: ‘A one-woman-man’. Not a flirt in any sense. Not one who goes from one to another, or is disloyal or unfaithful in any way. If any cannot be accused of betrayal or duplicity in marriage. He loves his wife, as his wife is directed to love him. There is great tenderness, and courtesy, and appreciation, and respect; it runs in both directions in marriage. Husband and wife should never, never, never shout at each other. They never lose control of themselves. They always thank God for each other every day. They always remember what the one has meant to the other across the years. They always have affection and respect. They always seek to potentiate the others work and service for the Lord. She supports him; he supports her also. We don't have this business that some people teach: – it comes in from the USA wholesale – he is the one who goes to all the meetings; her place is at home; she doesn't have that privilege or opportunity. That is based on just ridiculous and nonsensical exegesis. No, we are people who have affection and care, one for the other.
‘Having faithful children.’ This can be quite controversial. Do the elders have to have children who are necessarily all converted believers? Well the word faithful, more literally here in this context, means ‘trustworthy children’. It doesn't necessarily point to all the children having personal faith. That may not have happened yet. Sometimes, alas, it may never happen, although we never say never. I remember very well the testimony of one man, which was given before the church some years ago. This gentleman was an octogenarian and he was the most perfect English gentleman you could ever meet. You had the impression that he had been born that way. That is impossible, but you had the impression he had always be a perfect gentleman. But when he gave his testimony, it turned out he had been a rebel, and a rebel against God until his mid-50s. His parents never saw his conversion; they died, and then some years after he was converted. When we knew him in his 80s, he was a model believer. You would never think he had been anything else. So you never say never. You pray for all your young. But the point here is this: faithful children, trustworthy children.
Now the apostle promptly defines what he means, which helps us. ‘Not accused of riot or unruly.’ Not a wild rebel, not constantly contradicting everything. So if not converted, even as adults, you look for somebody whose upbringing was such that they are always even keeled and well-mannered and respectful, and they are not violent antibodies to anything and everyone. Because the point here is, we are appointing elders, who have to be capable of taking care of the church of God with great patience. How did he get on with his adolescent children? Did he lose his temper with them constantly? Was he unable to cope? Did he not know how to win them, and maintain a friendship even when he had to be firm? Was he always capable of being respected by his rebellious adolescents? Or did he go to pieces with them, and they emerge dreadful? Well then what is he going to do with the household of God? Is he going to lose his temper with people, be impatient with people, be unreasonable with people? It's more this idea that the apostle has in mind. So it's not so much demanding that all the children are converted, but that they reflect a sensible upbringing, and they are not wild people. Of course, we make an exception in cases where there is some health issue which might bring pressure onto a young life, or even a young adult life. But that is a complex, and another subject.